confidence building

Confidence Building to Shine Like the Rest

In life, confidence will get you far. I’m not talking about bloating. I’m not talking about feeling as though you’re better than anyone else. What I’m talking about is knowing who you are and being proud of it.

If you’ve ever gone into an interview confident you knew what the employer was going to ask you, it’s probable you impressed him or her. You answered all of the questions calmly and accurately. You knew what the employer wanted to hear and that’s what got you the job.

However, you can probably think back to time when you weren’t as confident. You may have stumbled over your words. You may have not said anything at all. It’s because you weren’t sure of yourself. You didn’t think you could impress the person with your knowledge and skills, and so, you didn’t impress the person.

As you can see, these two situations are significantly different. In one, you were confident so you delivered. In the other one, you weren’t sure so you fell short.

Some will argue that it makes sense you didn’t do well the second time because you really didn’t know what you were talking about, when in the first instance you did. While this can be true, it’s not always correct. See, sometimes, you do know what you’re talking about. Sometimes, you do have the knowledge and skills. You just don’t BELIEVE you have them. It’s the belief inside of you that can ruin your delivery.

When you believe you have the knowledge and skills to succeed, you will deliver confidently. Does this mean that you always have that belief when you have the knowledge and skills? NO.

Many people with low confidence do not believe they have any knowledge and skills when in reality they do. For example, someone who has been doing a job for years believe he is not good at it because he makes mistakes. Even though, mistakes are normal. You can’t avoid them. However, because he doesn’t believe he is good at what he does, he’s never able to tell people confidently what he knows. When it comes to finding a new job, he’s not able to land one because he just can’t bring himself to tell people how much he knows and how skillful he is at the trade.

Now that you understand a little more about how confidence works in life, how can you increase it when it’s low? Follow these tips.

  • Write down what you know and what you’ve done. Don’t shortchange yourself. Write it all down. Even though you may not think you are the master of those things, tell yourself that you do well at them.
  • Never tell yourself you are not good enough. Everyone is good enough. If you can do something with fail, you are good enough. Be proud of that.
  • Ask others to tell you what you’re good at. You may not see yourself as good at something, but others are noticing. Find out by asking.

Need more help? If confidence is making it hard for you to move on with life, contact Kendall Van Blarcom. He can help you work on your confidence, so you can achieve great things in your life.

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Kendall E. Van Blarcom, Psy.M. Licensed Psychotherapist (Retired)

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