older loved one

When You Feel Defeated Caring for an Older Loved One

older loved oneCaring for someone is difficult. You may not always know what to do, and when you do know what to do it can sometimes feel as though it’s wrong. If you’re feeling as though you’re just at your wit’s end, it’s time to feel better about all that you’ve done for your older loved one, and continue on with a new perspective.

About Feeling Defeated

Defeat means that you have lost. If you imagine laying on the ground not being able to get up, that’s defeat. If you step back from your life right now, you’ll likely see that you are not defeated. It may feel very much like defeat, but you may be mislabeling.

You are exhausted. You are frustrated. You want to give up.

Do those statements sound very close to the way you feel? Many people feel these ways and call it defeat, but it’s not.

Exhaustion means you need to take a break. You need to distance yourself, so you can recover. You need to recharge to gain back the strength you once had. The frustration will subside with that break because you won’t feel so hopeless. You’ll begin to be able to problem solve better because you’ll have a clearer mind. With possible solutions and strength, you won’t feel so much like giving up because there’s hope again.

Defeat is a word that carries a lot of weight. It’s hard to get up from defeat. However, when you are not defeated, you are much better able to get up and trudge on, after a much needed rest.

What Can You Do Now

You can take a break. As much as you don’t feel or believe you can, you most certainly can take a break. There are other people that can step in your place to provide the care that you are right now. These people will provide it with a fresher mind and a high patience level because they haven’t been through what you have the past few weeks, months, or even years for some of you out there.

Family, friends, nurses, home care workers, and many other senior care professionals can come to your older loved one’s home to give you a chance to catch your breath. Give you a chance to have a life outside of caring for your aging family member.

As you’re taking a break, call me, a personal consultant specializing in senior care. I’ve worked with many people who have been providing care to an older loved one without the breaks they need to recharge themselves. Some, who do take breaks, aren’t sure what to do with the time they have away from their loved one, which leads to those breaks being ineffective. That’s how I help. I’m able to show you how to feel better about what you’re doing, give you a different perspective, so you can overcome the challenges that come along with taking care of someone’s physical, mental, and emotional health as they age.

You deserve to be cared for too. Don’t let your beliefs that taking time for yourself is being selfish. Always remember, as a passenger in an aircraft, the stewardess always says, “Place the oxygen mask on yourself before attempting to put an oxygen mask on someone else.”

Call me now for more information on how personal consulting can help you.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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To provide improved mental health support for seniors, education, and motivation to individuals having difficulty with life’s challenges, and to empower them to turn their life around so they can improve it with positive changes that will greatly influence their thoughts, feelings, and actions for the rest of their life.

Kendall E. Van Blarcom, Psy.M. Licensed Psychotherapist (Retired)


Please note: I do not offer the services of a virtual counselor, therapist or geriatric psychologist. Online personal consulting is not intended to take the place of traditional face-to-face therapy, clinical assessment or treatment.

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