It can be frustrating to be lectured. After all, you may have a routine you’ve enjoyed for years and be wondering why people tell you what to do now. Nobody wants to hear someone telling you they have a better idea of how you should be living your life. This strain can exist between older adults and their grown children.
Maybe you are accustomed to telling your kids what to do, but they likely have become less inclined to take your advice over time. Now, as you’ve aged, your grown children may have decided it’s time to reverse the roles and give you instructions. At first, it may have been cute. You liked how they cared for you so much. You may have even played along with it because you knew it would make them happy. However, it is common for people to be annoyed when they feel continuously lectured.
Are you an older adult who does not like it when people tell you what to do? You are not alone. This frustration is a reality for many individuals and their family members. While their families love them and want the best for them, they may go overboard. Many find this is especially true when there are medical issues to assess.
It has to do with perception. Your loved ones can see that you’re not able to do as much as you used to, and that worries them. When they see what you can’t do anymore, they wonder what else you can’t do. They start to come up with possible things you can’t do such as think for yourself.
Since there’s not much you can do to convince them of your abilities, it’s time to adjust the way you’re dealing with their insistent care. Always remember, when you can’t change the situation, you change your perception of it.
How to Handle Overbearing Loved Ones
Your loved ones mean well, as much as it doesn’t seem that way. Remember that in the most difficult times because it will keep you from losing control of your reactions to them. When your loved ones are telling you that you should do this or you shouldn’t do that, take some of their advice. Usually, just doing one or two of their requests will appease them. That way you’ll be able to continue on with the other things you like to do.
When it comes to medical decisions, invite your loved ones to attend doctor appointments with you. You may want to call the doctor’s office before you go to see if he or she can help you with speaking to your loved ones.
If People Tell You What to Do, Try Compromise
Compromise has helped you for many years when dealing with your loved ones, so why stop now? You can always sit down with them to explain how you’ve been feeling. You can then come up with a plan. This plan would include doing some of the things that they want you to do, and some of the things you want to do.
It can be irritating to think that you need to negotiate how you will live your life. But if you take a moment to think about it, this isn’t anything new. As you were raising your children, you’ve probably had to compromise on the things you wanted to do for the sake of your children. Now that you’re older, things haven’t changed too much, except now your children are adults and it’s harder to deal with because it’s not you caring for them, but them caring for you.
Even with that being said, it isn’t easy. If you are tired of dealing with the advice of your grown children, there are solutions. In many instances, people tell you what to do because they care. And there are strategies to help you through difficult times. A personal counselor can help you live the life you want, all while keeping the peace between you and your family members.
Kendall Van Blarcom is a senior helping seniors. Contact Van Blarcom Consulting today for help with your personal problems. Or, reach out to provide support for an older adult in your life.