Sometimes when one partner works long hours it can be potentially annoying and confusing for the other. This is especially true when there are children involved.
If one partner spends most of their day caring for a one child or several, there’s no personal time available to them, it’s all about taking care of the children. That partner looks anxiously at the clock, knowing that her significant other will be home before the children go to bed, and she can get some relief.
Yet, for the partner who has spent 8-12 hours working at a J.O.B. outside of the home, he’s ready to unwind and walk into a peaceful environment with no stress and no demands on him.
Are your relationship goals being met?
In this scenario, both partners’ goals and needs are not being met. It goes on like this every day and every week and every month. Neither partner seems to understand the wants of the other person, yet both feel unfulfilled and consider in their wildest fantasies that the relationship isn’t worth it.
Can you relate to this? Do you think this relationship can be saved, and is it worth saving?
Here’s my thoughts on saving a relationship
Both partners must decide if they consider that the relationship is worth saving. Yes, not just one person, but both people must consider that this is an option. So agreement to stay opted into the relationship is the first step. But if one of the partners has already decided to opt-out, then the chances are slim for revitalized relationship success.
No amount of money in the world is worth spending on working things out, if both people aren’t invested in their own future together. However, it’s important to identify what the real problem in the relationship is. Symptoms, emotions, secret actions, and negative thoughts are not the real problems.
Egos, demands, shortcomings, and past experiences are sometimes called baggage. In reality, however, if there’s a true lack of intimacy, and it’s not addressed and discussed, and ultimately resolved, one of the partners could stray and enter into an affair. But the affair isn’t the real problem. The other person in this triangle is not the problem. The problem was the one partner’s deep lack of true intimacy without having compassion and understanding that outside pressures were interfering with the heart and energy of their beloved partner.
We’ve all heard that honest communications are the basis of every successful relationship. But what if you’re too tired to talk?What if it feels like your partner never listens to you and in his mind he’s always right?
The best way to save a relationship
The best way to save a relationship is confronting and calmly discussing the core issues. Now before you put a big hand in front of my face and yell, “But you don’t know my partner!” consider this: one secret is that you can save your relationship by beginning to deal with the core issues instead of pointing to the symptoms.
When you put the core issue on the table and quietly and calmly listen to your partner’s thoughts and reasoning, you’ve taken a giant stride toward your own success.
Remember to check your ego at the door during these types of conversations. As Donald Trump would say, “This isn’t personal. It’s business.” In other words, don’t shoot the messenger. Truth reigns when both people are open to hearing the truth and considering the innermost heartfelt issues of the only other person in the room.
Seeking the advice of a sage counselor for help with saving your relationship
Sometimes it’s just easier to bring in a third party counselor who can listen objectively to both partners. Remember that you didn’t get into this situation on one hour-long session, and it will usually take more than a one-hour session to get re-connected with your significant other. Restoring a relationship is an ongoing process, but it doesn’t have to go longer than 6 weeks, if you choose the right counselor who truly wants to see both of you reunited in the fastest amount of time.
Slow and steady wins the race in a fragile relationship
I know that you’re not trying to run to or from a relationship just to win the race, because what’s important are the future outcomes of your actions in the here and now. Don’t act out of hurt, resentment, bitterness, or unforgiveness. Wipe the slate clean. Start over…again and again if you have to. But most importantly, if you’re both willing, help is only a phone call away.
So I have a question for you: Have you been in a relationship and ever wondered if the relationship was worth saving? Can you share that story with us? We can all help each other by sharing. Please share your story with us.
We’re here waiting! 🙂