Relationship Worth Saving

Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?

Sometimes when one partner is rarely home it can be annoying or confusing for their mate, leading to one wondering if the relationship is worth saving.

For example, if one partner spends most of their day caring children, there’s no personal time available to them, it’s all about taking care of the children. That partner looks anxiously at the clock, knowing that her significant other will be home before the children go to bed, and she can get some relief.

Yet, for the partner who has spent 8-12 hours working at outside of the home, they are likely ready to unwind, desiring a peaceful environment with no stress and no demands.

Are Your Relationship Goals Being Met?

For a relationship to work, both people must feel their goals and needs are being met. If an unproductive scenario goes on and on, neither partner will understand the wants of the other person. Both will feel unfulfilled and begin to consider that the relationship isn’t worth it.

Can you relate to this? Do you think this relationship can be saved, and is it worth saving?

On Saving a Relationship

Both partners must decide if they consider a relationship is worth saving. Yes, not just one person, but both people. So agreeing to stay committed to the relationship is the first step. But if one of the partners has already decided to opt-out, then the chances are slim for revitalized relationship success.

No amount of money in the world is worth spending to save the relationship if both people aren’t invested in their own future together. However, it’s important to identify what the real problem in the relationship is. Symptoms, emotions, secret actions, and negative thoughts are not the real problems.

Egos, demands, shortcomings, and past experiences are sometimes called baggage. In reality, however, if there’s a true lack of intimacy, and it’s not addressed and discussed, and ultimately resolved, one of the partners could stray and enter into an affair. But the affair isn’t the real problem. The other person in this triangle is not the problem. The problem was the one partner’s deep lack of true intimacy without having compassion and understanding that outside pressures were interfering with the heart and energy of their beloved partner.

We’ve all heard that honest communications are the basis of every successful relationship. But what if you’re too tired to talk? What if it feels like your partner never listens to you?

Talking About Core Issues

The best way to save a relationship is confronting and calmly discussing the core issues. Now before you put a big hand in front of my face and yell, “But you don’t know my partner!” consider this: one secret is that you can save your relationship by beginning to deal with the core issues instead of pointing to the symptoms.

When you put the core issue on the table and quietly and calmly listen to your partner’s thoughts and reasoning, you’ve taken a giant stride toward your own success.

Remember to check your ego at the door during these types of conversations. Truth reigns when both people are open to hearing the truth and considering the innermost heartfelt issues of the only other person in the room.

Seek the Advice of a Counselor for Help

Sometimes it’s just easier to bring in a third party counselor who can listen objectively to both partners. Remember that you didn’t get into this situation on one hour-long session, and it will usually take more than a one-hour session to get re-connected with your significant other. Restoring a relationship is an ongoing process, but it doesn’t have to go longer than 6 weeks, if you choose the right counselor who truly wants to see both of you reunited in the fastest amount of time.

Wipe the slate clean. Start over…again and again if you have to. But most importantly, if you’re both willing, help is only a phone call away.

So I have a question for you: Have you been in a relationship and ever wondered if the relationship was worth saving? Can you share that story with us? We can all help each other by sharing. Please share your story with us.

Kendall Van Blarcom is a senior helping seniors. Contact Van Blarcom Consulting today for help with your personal problems. Or, reach out to provide support for an older adult in your life.

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Are you feeling “uneasy” about a situation in your life? Kendall Van Blarcom provides caring and compassion as your personal confidant, helping you overcome the obstacles standing in the way of your peace and joy. Sessions are conducted via a secure landline. Call for an appointment today.

Van Blarcom Consulting Mission Statement

To provide improved mental health support for seniors, education, and motivation to individuals having difficulty with life’s challenges, and to empower them to turn their life around so they can improve it with positive changes that will greatly influence their thoughts, feelings, and actions for the rest of their life.

Kendall E. Van Blarcom, Psy.M. Licensed Psychotherapist (Retired)

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Please note: I do not offer the services of a virtual counselor, therapist or geriatric psychologist. Online personal consulting is not intended to take the place of traditional face-to-face therapy, clinical assessment or treatment.

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