Does your best friend have bad behavior that you’d like to correct? There are things you can do when your best friend irritates you. Developing communication skills could be part of the solution. Remember, your best friend might not realize their behavior is annoying. Respect yourself and develop healthy boundaries.
#1 Handling Feelings of Disrespect
For example, if your best friend is always late you may be annoyed. Initially, you might have given them the benefit of the doubt, because they said that traffic was just horrible or they got caught at work and didn’t have a chance to call.
Being late can happen to anyone, but if the behavior is continually repeated it may be causing you pain. First, simply explain to your friend that your time is very valuable to you. Tell them that the next time the two of you arrange to get together, you will not be able to wait more than fifteen minutes for them to show up. Then, if they don’t show up, you can leave knowing you have already explained you do not want to spend all of your time waiting.
However, if they call within that fifteen-minute window of time to tell you that they’ll be there in thirty minutes, you can remind them of your agreement. They might be annoyed, but it’s important you do not allow another to disrespect you and your time. It’s about setting boundaries. Make sure you have them.
#2 Things You Can Do When Your Best Friend Oversteps
In other situations, friends overstep bounds. Things you can do when your best friend makes you upset include being communicative each step of the way.
Let’s imagine that you have a friend who always seems to call you at the last minute to get together. Maybe they’ve always been like that, they just don’t make plans until the eleventh hour. Or maybe they check in with other friends first before calling you. The point is, if it irritates you, it is essential to let your friends know you want to plan ahead.
Of course, if you have nothing better to do, then it might be totally okay to jump into a last minute Friday or Saturday night plan. But this type of situation is also about self-respect and not allowing the person to think that you’re always available and at their beck and call.
One of the things you can do when your best friend calls for a last minute hangout is to tell them you’ve already made plans. Your plans do not have to be with another individual, you could have plans to read a book or work on a favorite hobby. There is no formal rule book that says you have to tell a friend what you’re doing. And it’s not that you’re trying to be evasive. You’re entitled to your own space and your own time.
In a lighthearted way, and making it sound totally convincing, ask the person to check in again with you next week and maybe the two of you can do something together. After repeating this phrase for two or three more times, the person will either: a) call you in advance to make plans; or b) find somebody else who has nothing better to do than to take last-minute phone calls.
For more ideas on things you can do when your best friend is not respecting you, call Kendall and schedule an appointment. He can provide you with many more choices for feeling good about yourself.
Kendall Van Blarcom is a senior helping seniors. Contact Van Blarcom Consulting today for help with your personal problems. Or, reach out to provide support for an older adult in your life.