Over the years, you’ve been caring for people. If you had children, you cared for them since the day they were born. Now, they are all grown, but there may be grandchildren now who look to you as a grandma. While not as labor intensive as being a mommy, being an involved grandma can take quite a bit of time. And sometimes, even though you love the time you’re spending with your grandchildren, you may need a little time to yourself.
You Deserve that Time
Think of all those times in the past that you wished you could have done something, but you thought you couldn’t or shouldn’t do them because you had to be a mother. Those times of your life were a struggle because you seemed to feel conflicted with whether you should be taking time out for yourself or devoting all of your time to your children who needed you.
Now that your children are grown, you’ve satisfied your role as a mother. Of course, you will always be a mother, and that means you’ll feel compelled to do some things, but it’s nothing to the extent of when they were younger. And even though you are a grandmother, this role comes with different expectations, which is why you are now allowed to take time for yourself.
Yes, your grandchildren may expect to see you. However, they want to see you when you are happy to see them. They want their grandmother who is completely present with them, not thinking about what else needs to be done or how desperately she wants to be at home. You are not giving them what they want when you force yourself to spend time with your grandchildren.
If you’re able to take time away, you will be able to care for yourself in a way that will benefit your grandchildren. You will feel better about yourself, your life, and that will make you act differently. You will be more loving and caring. That’s what they want.
What do you do when they say, “Aaaawwww…but we want you to come”? Since they don’t comprehend the adult need for time alone, telling children in a language they understand will be much more helpful. Something like, “Just like sometimes you like to play alone, grandma needs to play alone for a little bit.” Following that up with the next time they can expect to see you will make them much more accepting.
You may just be very surprised that the next time they see you, they may only remember you missed the last visit for a minute. Children are resilient and they learn quickly. That’s why the next time you want to take time to yourself will be much easier. When you say you want to play alone again, they will likely shrug it off.
Give it a try to see how much better you’ll feel and how much happier your darling grandchildren will be…
Contact a personal consultant for more help.
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