The holidays are right around the corner. As much as you may not want this time to come, it is approaching. Family and friends will get together. They will exchange gifts and hugs. They will eat a lot of food. For some families, there will be arguments. Other families, everyone will be on their best behavior until they walk out the door. In any case, it’s the same situation every year.
The only problem is that you really don’t feel like dealing with the holidays. You know that everyone wants you to join them, but you’re not feeling too excited about it. It might be because you don’t have the energy to make it your family’s home. You don’t want people to see how your health has deteriorated. You may just not want to talk to all of the family that hasn’t cared to call you throughout the year. Whatever your reason, you just don’t want to deal with it.
Everyone else is expecting you to engage with them during the holidays. They want you to buy gifts for them and show up at their home. They want you to be happy with them. They want you to be the way you were years ago.
What do you do?
This feeling is common. Many seniors get a point in their life in which they no longer want to be part of the family get together. They may not feel as though they fit in anymore. They may not want to do the same thing they’ve done for years.
The best thing to do is talk about it. Start now by telling your family how you feel. Express the reasons you do not feel like dealing with the holidays. You’re doing this to gauge their reaction. They may understand and try to work with you. Maybe they will suggest that they will bring you some food and just spend a few minutes with you, and then go back and do the family holiday dinner. They may tell you that they will bring you to the dinner and take you home an hour later or so. They may just ask you what you would like to do and help you fulfill your wishes.
The problem lies in if your family tries to convince you to change your mind. When that happens, you may consider approaching the situation this way:
- Arrange transportation to your family’s house, so you can leave when you want to leave.
- State what you want and do not leave any room for negotiations.
- Suggest that you have a celebration at your home before the actual holiday. You can then make it however you want and not have to do go to anyone’s house for the big dinner.
Family and friends want you around, but if you don’t want to be there it won’t be fun for anyone. Try to work something out that will make everyone happy. Give and take is what will make this situation much better for you.
Need additional help? Contact Kendall Van Blarcom for personal consulting sessions.