Why You Really Do Need People and How to Find People You Like

Many people will say something like, “Oh, I don’t need people. People are just problems.”

While there is some truth to this statement, the repercussions of it are unhealthy.

Why Friendships Are Important

We are human beings. Human beings are programmed to need other people in their life. In other words, human beings need love.

Yes, love can come from many different things such as music, animals, and favorite television shows, but these types of love aren’t the same. The love you receive from a human being is something much different. There’s something biological in that type of love.

So what do you do when you should have people around you, but you really don’t like many other people or want to deal with some of the baggage that comes along with having friendships? Well, you keep moving forward finding new people.

It’s likely the people you’ve been meeting (yes, even for years) haven’t been right for you. In this world, there are billions of people, and they are all different. Don’t close the door on meeting new people just because you have met some who just weren’t your cup of tea.

The best way to finally meet people you enjoy spending time with is to join groups, activities, and organizations that you believe in and have fun being in them. Think about it – when you enjoy what you’re doing, other people are there enjoying it too. Right there, you have commonalities that you can grow from. Does that mean every person you meet in those settings will be right for you? No, of course not, but the chances of finding people you do like are higher.

What happens when you meet more people you don’t care for?

Just keep moving forward. I used to have a friend who had many friends. She would talk about this friend, that friend, and then another friend. Sometimes, after a few months, I would ask her how one of her friends was doing since she last spoke of her, and she would say that she doesn’t know because she hadn’t spoken to her. After I noticed that she often didn’t have the same friends as she did a couple months before, I realized that she would go from one friend to another to another and to another. She seemed to be looking for certain people to be friends with…

She shares a valuable lesson with all of us. You don’t have to swear off all relationships because some of them don’t work out. Instead, you can continue to meet people, learn about them, and then decide if you would like them to be part of your life. Don’t let those that get you down bring you down. Simply find new friends in hopes that someday you will find those special people that you click with so much that they stop being a burden and start being a blessing.

 Contact Kendall Van Blarcom for more information.

Image courtesy of stockimages from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Kendall E. Van Blarcom, Psy.M. Licensed Psychotherapist (Retired)

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